Post Valentines Shivers

Hello my fellow people! I miss you! Sometimes I wish I could know who was reading these. Maybe not who, but just that someone was reading these so I could sleep peacefully. Let's be honest, I never sleep peacefully, as my friend says, Welcome to the world of insomniacs. 

Here is my story today: 

Sometimes, in life, you attempt at dating, and let's face the facts: you hit a lot of dead ends, and it becomes boring, and later you realize; I am better off by myself. I am independent and can get everything done better by myself faster without a ball and chain. 

But as you go through your years of struggling with everyday functioning, you find you miss telling someone about the bad night you had, or the nightmare you had, etc. you also miss the movie partner you had, that you could watch any movie with and they wouldn't judge you when you spilt the popcorn because you were scared out of your pantaloons. But you continue to stay strong because you are a independent person. And it gets better. You develop a friendship with your guy/girlfriend, who you find, is so comfortable to be around, even though they have a girlfriend or boyfriend. 

You guys become best friends, and you start to realize how much you guys have in common ; music, gaming, dancing, being "old souls", hobbies, etc. you're practically kindred spirits. Does it bring you closer as friends or more? You're confused, because they are so comfortable around you with their S.O around and you don't know how to act. GIVE ME A SIGN! 

Frustration setting in: you decided to take the friend route, because you three, (your best friend and their significant other) are all great friends, and you do not want to ruin anything, plus, you're independent! Why have a ball and chain?! 

Why am I talking about this? Because this might be a situation I went through or am going through. I'm here to say, keep the best friend, because once the "friendzone" is gone, If something goes wrong, there's no possible way to go back. 

Hang in there, friend. 

Sincerely, 

    

             Dazed and Confused

Not A Newt, My Good Fellow, A Niche

What is your niche or rather, hobby, in life? Is it playing golf at your local course? Or maybe drawing or painting what comes to mind. Perhaps it is music, photography, video games, the possibilities are endless. My hobby is yoga, as well as mediating after. Whenever I am feeling stressed, I meditate, but nightly, I take out my yoga mat, light some candles, kill the lights and start my yoga session. 

The great thing about having your hobby, is it makes you happy, and you know what they say about smiling? If you smile a lot, you're surely destined to live longer.

When I'm done with my yoga, I feel refreshed and happy and thoughtful. The main point of your hobby is to center yourself and give time to spend with, well, you. You are worth it, I am worth it, so find what makes you happy, it has taken me until this year to find my happiness, but now I am super-happy, because I have something to look forward to every night. The thing that makes it the best though, is if you have someone to share it with, especially a very good friend. 

As an update with my life, that is if anyone minds or cares, kekeke ^^ 

With my chamber choir, a quartet male accapella group is coming to town to clinic with us, and then have a concert for us, where we will get some of their profits, hopefully to fund our state trip. Exciting! So for now, life is great.

Do for now, keep your head up, do what you love, as log as it is eatly, and always have someone to share it with. Rember, you don't always need a "lover" figure, independence is empowering :)

-- A Word From The pensive 

Cupid, And A BIT Of Insight... Or My Opinion?

Valentine's Day approaches, and the day of over-exaggerated feelings and commercial love products is put into the spotlight. It's all so wonderful, isn't it? For us single people, we prefer to curl up on the couch, eat chocolate, and watch romantic comedies where the girl always gets the boy! OH, how it is terrible and sickly, yet somehow we can not stop the feeling of loving the movies, because they are ten times better than reality sometimes. But if you are anything like me, you will find any way to make life just like the movies, and  relieve the stress and crap from everyday life.

How do I handle times like this, with the social pressure to admit my spontaneous love to someone with song and dance? Well, let me tell you in this song! Just kidding, I have been doing yoga, for a while, my friend, Clara showed me to a yoga class, and I absolutely fell in love. I have not been able to go back, but I religiously do it in my house mornings and nights with a woman who posts videos and classes online. I also meditate regularly or when I am able to after yoga, which relieves stress, and gives me the ability to clear my mind even for a mere five minutes, which can take a weeks' worth of stress off.

I created this blog also, I've always dreamt of having a blog where I could post little stories or thoughts, or advice, and people could comment, and life would be happy! ha, just kidding. Truth is, that is not the only thing that makes me the almost constant happy person I am today, minus the background depressive annoyances every now and then.

Over the summer, my one of my best friends, Emma, showed me to a new religion, or really, a way of improving myself, and to keep myself positive and happy. It is not a faith to anyone, just a faith to myself, and one where I can focus all my energy on keeping myself healthy, as well as my family, friends, and peers. I was completely changed by it, and now I am more, at peace with myself and the world. Thanks to her, I am sure I would be more gossip-like, as well as harbor lots of anger.

I believe that all people are good, whether they outwardly show it or not, it just takes the right person to bring it out of them. So if you are reading this, and I bore you, at least bring one thing out of this; always think of the good in every person you see, even your worst enemy. Someday, you might have no one, and because you showed a bit of caring, they might be there for you.

Oh, and by the way, a great movie to watch on the fourteenth is The Wedding Date, starring Debra Messing,  partnered with mint chocolate-chip ice cream, if you can have that. Happy Valentine's Day!

 -- A Word From The Half Wise

What A Beautiful Life It Is...Not?

I have BIG plans for my life after I get out of high school.

That is, if I ever DO get out. Lately the window of opportunity seems to be closing in and really, the stress has kicked in. I went to a concert last night with a few of my friends, and the main band did not come on until ten! I go to bed at nine. Totally worth it though when I came home I smelled badly of marijuana. Funny, because I have never even seen the drug, so smelling it was quite overwhelming. The night was great, but when I got home, my father said "You won't be doing that ever again." I told him I figured I wouldn't be able to.

It's really a ride being me. I have always followed the rules, gotten good grades, and been the good child, so me being able to go out to Portland at night is quite difficult for me or my parents to swallow. I have wanted to try out for my school's musical, we are producing Hello Dolly! but I am so nervous and I am worried about my grades I don't think I can do it. Auditions are soon, really soon.

Sometimes I wonder what I will do with my life, how I will survive, or get by without people to help me, and hope that I will be alright. That is why I started doing yoga, Vinyasa Yoga to be exact. It helps me calm down. Some days are alright, some days like today, I can not wait to talk to someone who will confirm to me that I will be alright and my feelings are totally normal. I need to meditate more as well. I do a lot of processes that help me calm myself and maybe they worry me more? Who knows.

I've done a lot of dumb and dramatic things in my life... And by that I mean complain about my life and obsess over Gothic boy bands. Now, I am making amends with the universe, and trying to find my center before I go off to college and lose myself to partying, which I hope I never am subjected to. So that is my big plan. Survive the rest of my high school year, and as soon as I graduate, get a job, and start over, brand new, clean slate.

What a beautiful life it is, isn't it?

The Days That Turn Into Weeks

The days that build up into weeks for students start out exciting in the new year. New wardrobe, new attitude, new view on how your life will be!... At least for the first month or two, and then the homework starts, the essays and speeches, the questions what ARE you going do to with your life? The answer to be a princess or an astronaut which was so cute and hysterical in preschool is not so acceptable now when your life is about to hit you square in the face.

For us seniors, the stress begins on day one, as the principal tells you you are the models of the high school, and to not fall behind! Well thank you kindly, I was not stressed before, and now that I have things such as college to worry about, thank you for giving me a project to test out my career path early... WAY early. I guess it helps us though, I've known people to faint in their job shadow process! Lord knows I'm so glad that did not happen to me, I want to teach, English in foreign countries. I used to loathe children, for some unknown reason, but now, their beautiful faces, and belly laughs bring me joy, so, what better way to enjoy them than to teach and work with them.

As the days count down to graduation, the countdown goes up on the board, and stress levels heighten. I worry about my college classes I am taking now and will I really be good enough. Not to top it off, but I have recently been struggling with my stress a bit more intensely of late, and even my best friend, who has gone through this stuff, is starting to notice it. How can I hide anything from her, she has seen me naked... too many times to admit.

But, when it boils down to the memories, and the friends, there is really nothing like high school, even nothing like the drama. I can promise you, that after high school, you will never again have to deal with Sally getting mad at you because you got the lead in Grease! or you got the asked to prom by the quarterback. Not that that happens to everyone, never happened to me, and I am happy with myself, and how I have turned out. I have never done drugs, or drank, but those are my choices, and I realize, it is high school, so ship happens. But one thing I realized when I started high school. Everything I do now, will stick with me forever, so someday when I want that job, I better hope to god they do not require a pee test and I have stayed smart all of these years.

So the main idea of my blog on this fine little evening, is that, there are days when high school seems never ending, boring, and useless. And sometimes, well, it truly is. But what I have come to realize, and I hope you will too, is that all too soon, your senior year will come, and everything you were taught will come to be useful. And again, all too soon, you will be expected to go out on your own, with no direction, scared and wondering if you will survive. I am here to tell you, as scared as I am for that day, you'll make it. You've made it this far, congratulations you clever thing you.

Honor...What,...? Choir...Who?

January ended and February started, like I thought it would. The end of the month rolls by, you get midterms thrown in your face, but there is one perk to being a nerdy choir kid every year: Honor Choir. Ten elite, "cream of the crop choirs" as the instructor will tell you, gather in Saint Helen's auditorium for two straight days of working four beautiful pieces over and over until you really, properly do not need the music to guide you. This year, one of the song choices was 'Lux Beatissima' composed by twenty-five year-old Joshua Rist, from our very own. Little did we know he would be spending the weekend with us, sharing his vision and helping us make the second performance ever hopefully as beautiful as the first one. I was fortunate to tell him I thought his piece was beautiful and I literally could not get it out of my head from the first day our instructor handed it out, my friend and I would sing select parts and attempt to make up what the Latin meant, of course, when he explained it, we were way off! 

When performance day came, of course a mere thirty hours after we all had met, the stage was ready, we took our seats, and the middle school honor choir took the stage. I actually surprisingly knew some of the pieces, though beautiful they were. When they were done it was our turn and really, let me tell you about nervous pee if there was one. I took that stage, my heart pounding, eyes searching for something to lock onto to help me. I locked eyes with Mr. Rist, and he smiled, knowing his piece, his artwork was about to be shared with another audience, his vision spread into the world. I calmed a bit but a thought overtook me every time I feel pressure, a petty thought. What if we mess it up? We have had thirty hours to perfect this and there are still parts that do not lock in. But then I saw our instructor, she is amazing and talented and is like the mother figure we all need when we know it and when we don't. Earlier that day I had gone up to her to ask how we had been progressing and she told me she needed a small hug, so of course I gave her one, she is my favorite instructor, who makes you feel like she is a friend, but not too much so that you dont feel the authority. She said, "You're a sweetie." and asked me how I liked the experience, if I was tired, I of course said "NO!" I loved every minute of it.

When I looked at her and her smiling and excitement, as well as the other instructors, I knew we had done well and had nothing to worry about. As usual, Joshua was asked to speak about his piece, and he spoke about how things and people could be right and wrong in the world. "These people, on this stage, this, this is what is right with the world," and he continued, but we all choked on his sweetness. We had tried so hard to make him feel like we had done his piece justice, not because he was famous or was just any composer, but because his piece was truly beautiful, and spoke to each and every one of us personally. When music does that, you have got talent, and when you are only twenty-five, then man, you are going places in life. We performed the first piece with as much feeling as we could muster, and I felt so relieved when it was done, the joy that overtook me was immense. He smiled, bowed and we bowed as well, he gave us the recognition he deserved. Selflessness at its greatest. 

Needless to say. the new friends I made, the people I met, the things I learned, will stay with me forever. That weekend changed me, and I think it could change anyone who gets the opportunity to go to this honor choir event. My sincerest adoring to every person who took time out of their day to be there for us, the singers, for the instructors, and for themselves. We were and very great group, like no other, even I could not deny that. 

                            -Absolutely Awed