So I was hoping to do a live session of blogging with you guys. Because I know that it would be so fun to have you guys ask questions, and just kind of chat back and forth about things. I am always interested in what you guys have to say!
Let me know what you think!
Today I am pensive about boundaries. In all capacities. Where the line becomes a brick wall, or where it mixes dangerously into a cocktail of fear, suddenly making the brick wall open to the edge of a cliff looking down into a dark abyss. Sounds almost like teen angst right? Well, guess what, boundaries are personal, and are nothing to joke about. So sit down, get ready to be uncomfortable, and let's begin.
I was at work today, and during a slower portion of my shift, I noticed a young woman and a man hug, obviously recognizing each other. The man went on to tell the woman how fit she looked, and how much skinnier she looked than the last time he had seen her. The woman said thank you and tried to walk up to the counter to order.
He continued, either not sensing her being finished with their interaction, or not caring, and wanting to shine more of a light on her appearance, followed up with, "You look much more-more in shape! So much fitter!" To this, she just uncomfortably nodded, and I could feel the tension from across the counter. I knew I couldn't say anything, as it wasn't my place, also during work hours, but I was appalled that this man thought that since he knew this woman that he could subtly objectify her, and talk about her body, when she was more than visibly uncomfortable.
That is what made me want to write this. I like to believe that I don't force my opinions on people, or that I enlighten people, but something told me today that this subject needed to be put into a spotlight. Objectifying is NEVER okay. I mean talking about someone, looking at them, etc. I won't drive this into the ground, but no one is entitled to another person's ANYTHING. EVER.
Two summers ago I went out on a boat with three girls, and eight to ten guys. I was invited by a guy who asked me on a date, and since I was fresh from a breakup, I was in my rebound phase and said yes. As soon as I got on that boat at ten in the morning, I was handed a tequila sunrise, then immediately following that I had my boobs grabbed, my butt touched by the same sweet person I had gone on a short coffee date the day before. I was betrayed. All of a sudden the person I trusted at work and alone was calling me babe and kissing me, and asking me to sit on his lap.
Boundaries. He did not respect my boundaries and because of previous experiences like that, I still have moments where I ask David to not touch me, and he respects me because he knows what it means to have those boundaries, or to stop when someone asks or says no.
This is such an important subject to me because too many people have to experience rape, molestation, objectification, and it's because boundaries aren't respected and we aren't comfortable or able to establish them. Or we think we trust the person we are with, but often end up wrong. But don't lose faith, I am not trying to be a cynic. Not everyone is awful, I am not saying don't trust anyone, just guard yourself.
Every single one of you is important to me. I have been through things I have been scarred by, that still give me nightmares, and that I never want you to go through. Which is why I blog about things that are uncomfortable or are borderline redundant.
If there is one takeaway from this, it would be just please be careful, think things through, and always make sure you establish boundaries and make sure that anyone you're with can always respect you. Whether it is you saying no to tea, or no to you taking your shirt off. That is the most important thing in the world.
I love you all, have a wonderful night, XOXOX
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