I read this story the other day about a girl who married her high school sweetheart, and didn't go to college, but she did move to the base her husband lived on. She ended up broke and unhappy, living in a town where she connected with no one. After a year she finally realized she was too young and they divorced. 19 and divorced. Imagine that.
I can't imagine what it would be like to ignore everything that made me happy just to make someone else happy. I mean I moved across the coast for a boy, but it was for me too. And I have made my life here and continue to make this my home. I think why this story sticks with me so much is because I believe that so many of us jump into things too quickly, or without thinking things through. Or maybe we just think that it is the best thing, that other people will be happy, so it must make us happy in the end.
It is sad in a way, but also in another way it is also really okay. Because you live and learn. Your twenties are your time to explore and make mistakes. To move to new places, learn new languages or date different people. I sound hypocritical because I didn't really do much before moving in with a guy but there are old souls out there who like boring lives. Not to say I am boring because believe me, I like to be crazy too.
But to me it is so so important to make sure every day that you think, "What could get better than this?" I am extremely lucky to say that every night, cuddling my boyfriend and dog. I mean sure any moment I could be single or something tragic could happen, let's be realists, but are we going to dwell on it and worry about things we can't control? NO
If you can't control it, don't worry about it. Simple (Yeah right) as that. Hard rule to live by, but try to make it a motto.
Another really important thing I wanted to talk to you guys about is relationships.
I know they're hard, or can be difficult at times, but that's life. No one gets the perfect marriage. And if you do, then good for you! I wish you the best.
About a year ago, I flew to Chicago, and visited my sister when I thought my entire life was falling apart. "Relationships are always easy. They shouldn't be hard." At the time I hated hearing it. Because I had just broken up with the love of my life, my heart was shattered. I was depressed, suicidal, and wanted to die. I was convinced that no one would ever love just me. First loves take a huge toll on you. That is for damn sure. And make no mistake that my entire last summer still haunts me some days.
But now that I think of that, and sorry sis, but I know you don't think that anymore. Relationships shouldn't be battle after battle, or an entire war. But relationships are difficult because you are always working with each other to make things better. "Communication is key." Remember that saying? Well it's true as can be, and I don't know a single night when I bottled things up so much that I ended up getting us into a fit of "bickering" that didn't need to happen if we just communicated.
I've always counted David and I lucky that we don't really fight. We bicker, or disagree, but arguing or fighting has happened twice over the year and a half we have known each other. I think that is pretty damn good if you ask me. I am not one to give away things from my private life, but I can boast about that. I have a healthy relationship and a safe and trusting, supportive man by my side.
So my message to you is this: No matter what happens in life, remember to always put you first. David told me that a while ago when I had no one. "Put you first, always." And from that day on I did. I smile more, and laugh more, and I don't feel bad about it. This is your life, not someone else's. I'm not saying don't open doors, or pay it forward. No, still try to be good to others, but don't put others before you, or their happiness before you if it will hurt you and your happiness. Make sense?
Sorry I haven't blogged much, I promise to more, hopefully I can add more to this one and add another one tomorrow. Anyways, I love you all and will see you soon. Remember to give yourself a gift. And fall is here! Get the sweaters out!
XOXOX
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